Cait's Place

On Housework and Other Family "Duties"

2005-12-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

Over on Hugo's blog, there have been a few discussions about who's responsible for household "chores," about SAH parents, and about other related issues. Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter of "chores," etc.

IMO, everyone who lives in a home should be responsible for picking up, at the very least, their own messes in that home. In our household, I'm responsible for *organizing* the duties in the house and for determining what needs to be done. My husband is responsible for organizing the duties of the farm and for determining what needs to be done. He's responsible for earning the money to finance the family and the farm. I'm responsible for making sure the money goes where it's needed and for finding additional reserves when his paycheck isn't enough.

Gruntwork (housework, cleaning the chicken coop, etc) is delegated to the teenagers and the 20yo intern, with assistance and oversight by my husband and me. Since the teens don't do a great job of keeping the house dusted, I'm talking with a local lady about trading meat for her coming in to dust and sweep the public areas of the house once a week. It's what she does for a living, and I don't have the time (or the want-to).

Time to get back to work. Maybe, some day, I'll have time to write more.

Venting Frustrations: Of Ex-Husbands and Of Becoming Overwhelmed

2005-12-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today's just "one of those days."

With the holiday season, we've had a lot of farm work that required my attention. With our slowly growing sales, I've had to make sure we have plenty of meat in the freezer, which means hauling animals to the butcher each week and picking up the meat a week later. Around that, there have been kids' schedules to maintain and manage. And then I have my exchange program responsibilities. In the midst of all this, the kids have had spells of not getting their end of things done so that I can get them where they need to be without being too badly overwhelmed.

Getting behind on my paperwork would be an easy fix, except that the kids have been needing me to keep more of an eye on them lately than they normally require. (Thankfully, the 15yo is pulling out of that, now that he's got mid-terms for which to study.)

But I got behind while getting farm things ready for Thanksgiving. Then we left for a week, so I wasn't getting anything caught back up. And then we came home to a lot of farm things that needed to be done, as well as kids activities for which transportation was required. Now we're getting ready for Christmas sales, PLUS I'm working on a beadwork orchid for church on Sunday and am making a dress for each of the girls for a dance on Saturday.

And I've still got paperwork to catch up on. That's what I get for letting myself get behind.

And then my ex steps in to add another fly to the ointment. He didn't like the flight arrangements I made for our son's visit with him. They would have to drive 4 hours to pick him up at the airport, instead of their usual 2-and-a-half. Blah. All these years, they've not cared how far our son's had to be in a car on THIS end, so they can't convince me they're worried about him.

Where was their concern when we lived in Arizona and they continually booked 8:00pm-9:00pm flights to an airport 3 hours from our home, with dangerous mountain passes for us to drive through? We spent many a night sleeping at a rest stop just before the worst of the passes, under the watchful eye of the dog I'd gotten to protect my son.

Where was their concern when they booked 9am flights for him out of Dallas, 4 hours from here? With needing to be there an hour before his flight, we were leaving the house at 4am. I can recall one occasion where we had to leave at 3am.

This time, I was booking the flights. I found a good deal on airfare. The least expensive airfare I found was a flight out of Killeen, about an hour from here, and flying into St. Louis, about 4 hours from my ex's family. Since that's the type of arrangements they've continually made through the years, it shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong.

Now we have a new set of flight arrangements. YS will be flying out of an airport just over an hour from our home (depending on traffic) and will be landing at the ex's favored airport. His flights are all arranged at times that won't inconvenience anyone greatly.

Best of all, my ex has now suggested that we make sure that YS doesn't have a 4 hour drive on either end of his flights.

Maybe I should have done this years ago.

Now, off to load lambs for today's trip to the butcher. Then I get to convince the folks there that they *CAN* have the meat ready for pickup by Friday. I've seen them do it before. I know they can make it!

St Brigid's Gate Farm and the Local Community are Helping Caritas

2005-12-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

Recently, 3 families at Austin Mennonite Church went together to purchase a meat and egg share to be donated to Caritas of Austin. Our pastor then contacted Caritas to determine needs, acceptance of the donation, and delivery details. What he found was that the meat and egg share is gladly accepted, but it doesn't meet the current needs.

Caritas of Austin will help more than 20,000 men, women, and children in need this year alone. Currently, their food program uses 100 pounds of meat per week and 60 dozen eggs per month. Their previous food donation expired recently.

The meat and egg share donated by our church will provide 10 pounds of meat per week and 6 dozen eggs per month. Another 9 meat and egg shares are necessary to completely meet their current needs.

We would like to invite others to join in this effort to provide the needed meat and eggs for Caritas. No contribution is too small. Many people working together can make a big difference. The money donated will help us to purchase the additional sheep, goats, and chickens needed to provide the 100 pounds of meat a week and 60 dozen eggs per month and to add the fencing and shelters needed to care for the additional animals.

A 16-year-old girl has decided to start the ball rolling by donating $40 every two weeks, which will cover nearly 1/3 of a meat and egg share. With other anonymous donations, we are currently up to 14 pounds of meat per week.

If you would like to help with this effort, please contact Micheal or Catherina Mc Evoy of St Brigid's Gate Farm at (512) 355-3834 or by email at chewy@stbrigidsgatefarm.com or catherina@stbrigidsgatefarm.com.

Established in 2003 and located in Burnet County, St Brigid's Gate Farm is a small sustainable family farm specializing in pastured poultry, sheep, and goats. We are in transition to organic and plan to apply for certification of our pasture in October of 2006. We raise chickens, turkeys, geese, ducks, sheep, goats, and cattle on 64 acres of pasture. We market our products through CSA subscriptions and at the Sunset Valley and Burnet farmers markets.

An Email Received from Gene Stoltzfus

2005-12-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

I was going to do some self-focused blogging about all the activities that have kept me away from my blog. Then I received this email yesterday. I think it is much more appropriate to the season and to the state of the world.

Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 09:44:29 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Some thoughts on our CPT colleagues in Baghdad

Greetings good friends,

By this time many of you know that four CPT workers
were taken hostage in Baghdad. This crisis calls us
back to our most basic convictions in life, what is
worth living for and what is worth dying for. This
event reminds us that we build meaning into our lives
by the choices we make.

The choice to begin, and to continue the CPT work in
Iraq was made in prayer. I believe it was the right
decision, and that the hand of God seeks to be
revealed as we all walk into the face of violence in
this century.

Today is almost December 1st. In 25 days Christians
will be joined by people of many faiths to celebrate
the Prince of Peace. He came in weakness, as a baby,
in a time when terrorism was rampant. A few days
after his birth, innocent male children were declared
enemies of the state and killed. A lot of people
must have thought that this was a poor way to begin
the peace project.

Now, just as in the time of Jesus, the earth and its
people hang in the balance. The outcome of this
abduction of my co-workers is not only in the hands of
hostage takers and persons working tirelessly to seek
their release. The outcome of this event is also in
your hands, in my hands.

I write to encourage your prayers for the hostages,
the hostage takers, for Iraqi people who face this
every day and for the good that can come from this
event. Your prayers for the immediate outcome and for
our common willingness to embrace sacrifice and risk
are a fundamental part of our commitment to the Christ
who had to flee to Egypt because of state sponsored
terrorism.

I know that I speak for at least two of the CPT
hostages with whom I have worked directly that their
desire is that this situation will be used to awaken
the soul of our age, to bring us to deeper unity,
vision, and the practical arts of peacemaking.

With much thankfulness for colleagues in the journey.

Gene Stoltzfus

for complete up to date information go to www.cpt.org
or for other reflection see my blog at gstoltzfus.blogspot.com

For ideas and reflections on CPTers being held in Baghdad and other
peace initiatives check my blog at gstoltzfus.blogspot.com

Gene Stoltzfus

Tuesday Musings and Providing for the Homeless

2005-10-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Off and on today, I've looked at Hugo's blog and made a few comments on a couple of the threads there. I've also kept an eye on my sweetie's new blog. The posts on Hugo's blog are definitely challenging, while I find the posts on Chewy's blog to be more of the uplifting sort.

There are things posted to both that have me thinking about myself, the past, and how to work through the challenges of the past so that they present less and less negative impact on the present and future. But right now, the one thing I need to keep my focus on is the Sponsor Share that people from our church purchased Sunday evening.

This Sponsor Share is to go to a local soup kitchen that provides 350 meals per day to the local homeless. It is to be 10 pounds of ground meat per week plus 6 dozen eggs per month. This is 1/10th of what the soup kitchen needs, since their previous donation has now expired. They use 100 pounds of meat per week and 60 dozen eggs per month.

If anyone out there has ideas about how I should approach gathering 9 more Sponsor Shares so that we can provide the resources needed by this soup kitchen, please let me know. Each share can be split up between multiple families or organizations, just as the current share has been done. But I need ideas on how to approach people and organizations about this.

God's Abundant Blessings!

2005-10-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

This is a followup of my post last week about bills that need to be paid immediately.

We had a need for $300 by last Tuesday and $2000 by Thursday. Tuesday, that amount necessary was reduced to $250 and needed on Wednesday. The money was there as needed! Praise God!!

By Thursday, I was uneasy but still certain that God would provide. We had $110 of the necessary $2000. In addition, I'd been handed a bill for a bit over $800 that needs to be paid right away. Needless to say, I was having to put my money where my mouth is with respect to trusting that God will provide.

And then Friday evening, I got a phone call about another $730 that needs to be paid. YIKES! I learned that continual prayer is good for keeping the panic down.

After Saturday's farmers markets, we were up to $602 on hand and another $2900 needed. Ya know, deep breathing exercises make a wonderful addition to prayer. And trials are meant to test our faith.

Sunday morning, after services, the one lady from church that I've *really* been missing (our pastor's wife) was there. They'd been out of town visiting family the week before, and the preceeding weeks, she and I had just missed each other or there'd been too many people around for us to talk. She came up to talk to me, and I nearly burst into tears.

She and I went into the pastor's office to talk. I told her everything. She got our pastor, and I spoke with the two of them. He asked if I would be opposed to a meeting with some other members of the church, for advise on how to approach the situation. I told him that I would be grateful for any advise on how to keep the farm going and to get things running more smoothly. We set the meeting for 7pm at their home.

When I arrived, there were two other families there. We spoke for nearly an hour about the farm, the prospects for the farm (which are very good if we can get through the beginning growing pains), and how to deal with the needs of the farm. Then the three families there (the pastor's family plus the other two) went together to purchase a Sponsor Share of meat, to be delivered to one of the local soup kitchens weekly for the next year.

With their purchase of the Sponsor Share, we are able to pay everything that is due. God has blessed us with a wonderful church family!

But the lesson that I think God is teaching me is to open up to those with whom He has surrounded me, to accept the blessings of their fellowship, to stop trying to handle everything on my own.

God is good, and my family is blessed by His wonderful love and care.

Armine's Honey Gold

2005-10-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

We just finished Armine's very first batch of soap - goats milk with honey. It turned a deep honey color. I told her we'll label the batch Armine's Honey Gold. I think it's going to be a very pretty batch of soap.

She's so excited to be learning to make soap. This is a skill she can take home with her to show her mother and sister. It's also something she's looking forward to doing as a community service project. She plans to make soap to donate to local community outreach programs and/or to MCC.

I'm glad I'm able to teach her so many things that are new. My hope is that when she returns to Armenia in June, she will be full of confidence and the knowledge that she can succeed at anything she wants to try.

Of course, this is the girl who sat on a bull at the Jr. Rodeo. Of *course* she can do anything she wants!

Spoiled Animals and Teenage Boys

2005-10-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm totally amazed. Absolutely dumbfounded.

I know our animals are spoiled, but this is getting ridiculous.

We've gotten to the point where we have to let the cats into the entryway of the house to feed them, because the chickens will run the cats off their feed and eat it. The cats (these are *supposed* to be barn cats, mind you!) were sitting outside the door, mewing to be let in and fed. So my darling 15yo son lets them in and feeds them - but leaves the front door open. Hello!

A few minutes later, I notice the door and tell him to close it so that the chickens can't come in. Then I hear, "Oh, hello. That's what sounded funny."

Thanks to his leaving the door open, one of the hens had come into the entryway, run the cats off their food, and was eating away. DOH! Now the silly hen is making noises, wanting to come back in. NO WAY!

So, I send him out to check on the new pup, a 3 month old 3/4 Pyrenees, 1/4 Anatolian shephard. I told him to spend some time with her and walk her around the sheep. (She's still smaller than the sheep, so she's a bit afraid of them.) He comes back in and says, "Can I bring Gertie in the house, Mom?"

No, she is *not* to be a house dog!

"But, Mom, if we cuddle her and love her, she'll be just fine in the house."

NO! Go out and walk around with her in the pasture, get her familiar with the sheep, help her get to where she's not afraid of them, they are to be her FAMILY.

"But, Mo-o-om!"

GO!

Thursday Musings

2005-10-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the deadline for getting together a rather sizable amount of money so that we can keep the farm afloat. That $50.00 in seed money that a sweet lady from church gave me for us all to pray over is in it's envelope.

The money that had to be here yesterday for the expense that had to be met was there. I rest assured that the money that needs to be here today will arrive. I don't know how, but I'm sure it will be here.

Perhaps God is sending someone to purchase a full year's CSA agreement. One year's agreement, paid in full, would cover the expenses that need to be met today, plus those that need to be met this weekend.

Or perhaps God has something else planned. Something I've not even thought of.

I do trust that God, who placed this farm in our hands and assigned us the task of feeding area families meat that is the most nutritious possible, will provide the means for us to follow through with that assignment. I know it as well as I know my own name.

All that I can do at this point is wait upon the Lord.

Thoughts after Reading a Bit of Hugo's Blog

2005-10-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

Since I've been too busy to read the blogs for the past 3 months, I thought I'd take a quick look at Hugo's. The second thread I read had some comments about "getting the milk without buying the cow," etc. Someone who I will guess is a relatively young man finished the thread with rants about "romantic dreams" actually being "sexist dreams" and about going "back to the 'good old days' of weepy, whiny, tantrum-throwing, hysterical females."

OK, I'm going to guess that he grew up in the city, first off. I know that not all women in the cities have EVER fit that disgusting stereotype, but women in the country didn't have the time to play such games. Makes me wonder how he'd feel if people took to calling men with his opinions "knuckle-draggers." You know, those men who want to give women the "equal opportunity" to do the exact same work the men do, *plus* the "opportunity" to go home after work to clean the house, cook dinner, take care of the kids, and help everyone with their homework (which sometimes includes typing for hubby). Oh, yes, and let's not forget making sure all the laundry is done. I used to be married to someone like that.

I've an exchange student, a wonderful young lady, who is throwing herself 110% into learning everything she can while she's here, far beyond academics. There was a youth rodeo where we had the arrival orientation for this year's students. Before the bull-riding events started, some of the cowboys ran a couple of bulls through the chutes so they could make sure all the gates and such were working properly.

This sweet, pretty young lady asked me if she could go take pictures of one of the bulls in the chutes. I told her to ask the cowboys running them through if it would be OK.

Next thing I knew, one of the cowboys had her camera and was standing in front of the chute. I looked around and saw 3 cowboys holding that bull still and another cowboy helping her sit on the bull for a picture.

After that, there's nothing in the world that's going to hold that little girl back. She's going to jump in feet first to whatever she feels needs to be done. And she's going to succeed.

And I'm going to teach her that it's OK to dream romantic dreams while you're taking life by the horns. It's OK to wait, to not have sex just because people are telling you "everybody does it." I'm going to tell her that she's right to be shocked when a girl at school tells her that the girl's had sex right there in the school. I'm going to tell her that her body and her sexuality are treasured gifts to be shared only with someone very special, not to be used for "fun and games."

And I tell my boys the same thing.

This sad young man also stated, "Why do you grieve for women who prize rationality over emotion?"

Rationality over emotion? God gave us gifts of both rationality *and* emotion. It is wrong to bury one's emotions in the name of rationality. Having and acknowledging emotions doesn't equate to "weepy, whiny, tantrum-throwing" hysterics. To be fully, 100%, everything that God meant us to be, we must embrace our emotions and use our rationality to guide us in our actions. One does not negate the other.

Back Again

2005-10-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I've posted anything. July, August, and September were extremely busy. Things are just settling back down again. The house is a disaster from my being focused on other things. But today is a day when I can breath again and get started getting things back in order.

We wound up with 19 exchange students in my area. Not bad for my first year as regional director and starting from scratch after the previous director left. I'm still learning as I go, but I love working with these kids.

We have kids here from Holland, Germany, Ukraine, Armenia, Russia, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Brazil, France, Japan, Taiwan, China, Hong Kong, and Thailand. We may have one from South Korea and one from Belarus (if the govt there cooperates) for the spring semester.

In addition to all the exchange students, the farm has been picking up. It's presenting the usual "starting a business" challenge of coming up with the finances to keep up the needed stock so that we have what's needed for us to sell when the customers arrive. In addition, there's still lots of cross-fencing to do so that we can turn the sheep and goats out to another paddock so that the current one can have some recovery time. Pasture rotation is an absolute necessity, but sheep will sometimes go through fences that give other animals pause.

We've also started new classes with the teens. It's great to have someone else to teach their science classes for me. Both the younger ones are taking biology and chemistry back-to-back. The youngest is also working with our pastor. He's put together some good short presentations on Mennonite history and read them in church these past few Sundays. Currently, he's working on a presentation on Menno Simmons.

That's about it for the update. I'm going to try to get into a routine of being able to write for a few minutes every day.

Nature vs Nurture, or Do Women Have Different Inherent Abilities Than Men Have?

2005-07-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

I had typed this in response to stanton, in a discussion on Hugo's blog. When I went to post it, I got a message that Typepad was down for maintenance. So I'm posting it here.

stanton, I didn't see this comment of yours until trying to find your comment from this morning:

Caitrona: I actually agree with most of what you say. But why so critical of debate? My experience is that debate requires me to clarify my own thinking, and it also requires me to understand where the other person is coming from, and why they hold opinions different from my own. Good faith debate - and this differs from ideological attacks on perceived opponents - is educational to both the participants and the observers.

I *love* debate. I just abhor the nastiness that the pro-feminist vs anti-feminist argument usually turns into. I've no use for either end of that.

You asked:

- Are these differences due exclusively to socialization and/or sexism?

I'd have to say no. For any of us, there are things which are due to environment (nurture). But let's not forget the genetics (nature) end of it. It seems to me to be a blending of the two. For all that my mother, my two sisters, and I are different, we're also very much alike. Are the differences genetic and the similarities environmental? Who knows the ratio? I *do* know, however, that my husband feels it would be dangerous for the local community if all four of us lived here. ;-) He says one of me is enough. (Seriously, Mom, my sisters, and I are *that* much alike.)

- Might there be an innate gender factor at play, with innate feminine or masculine human qualities that influence these tendencies?

Men's musculature, in general, is different than women's. Men's brain development is slightly different than women's, as per CT scans, brain mapping, etc. Who of us knows how much this affects our gender roles. Are there differences? Yes. How deeply are those differences "hard wired?" I'd be a fool to try to guess.

- If someone is of the belief that the second question probably an affirmative answer, is that person necessarily a bigot?

Depends on whether or not that person is using that belief to discriminate against others. Is it bigotry to notice that some people are shorter/taller than others? No. But it would begin sliding into that territory of someone were to consistently work in a way that made things easier for one (shorter or taller) and more difficult for the other.

For example, if things were consistently put on the highest shelf and no step-ladder were available, it would make work difficult for the shorter person. Or if doors/ceilings were consistently built so that a taller person had to stoop continually, that would make work difficult.

I apologize for that last question, in that it is clearly a setup to get you (via the back door) to weigh in on the Summers flap. If you would rather not go there, that's fine with me.

The Summers flap. Blah!

OK, let's look at it this way. I'm good at math. Always have been. My mother and both her parents are good at math. My father, who can't read a lick, can work problems in his head faster than I can punch them into a calculator. (OK, I'm not *THAT* good!) I also read as much as possible, although not nearly as much as I used to.

Now, you'd think that my sister, having the same parents, having grown up in the same environment, having experienced very nearly the same influences, would be as confident and capable of math as I am. You'd also think she'd be a voracious reader. Neither is true. What is the difference?

We grew up in the same environment, with much reading going on all the time, with our grandparents encouraging us to learn common every day math before we could read. The only difference I can see is genetics. She got slightly different genetics than did I. She and I deal with things differently. We have different talents and skills.

Is there a difference in the %-age of women who are genetically inclined toward math and science than the %-age of men who are genetically inclined toward math and science? I don't know.

I do know that people used to think that ADHD is more common in males than in females. Turns out that it's not, it just presents differently in males than in females.

Perhaps that's the case with ability to do math and science. Perhaps it presents differently in males than in females. Perhaps the ability is there at the same percentages, but we need to change the way we see it. If we focus more on detecting individual learning styles and making our curriculum fit those, perhaps we'll see more males *and* females in the fields of math and science.

I'll ponder this a bit more, tomorrow, at the farmers market. I just finished weighing individual pkgs totally 156 pounds of meat, getting everything ready for tomorrow. I'm bushed.

Thanks for the thoughts to ponder. I've still some work to do for my message Sunday morning. I've got what I wrote on my blog a few days ago, plus thoughts on liberty and what it means to be free, plus this. Much to think about.

Have a great weekend.

In Search of Guidelines

2005-07-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

We found out last week that the butcher we chose to process our lamb is a halaal processing facility. That's great news, because my husband was in the midst of trying to find a halaal facility so that we can provide lamb to some of his co-workers who'd asked about it. No more searching need be done.

However, this brings another quandry to mind. Are there particular *farming* practices that go into the preparation of halaal and/or kosher foods?

We are transitional, meaning that we don't use man-made chemicals or anything of that nature on our pastures or livestock, but we can't guarantee that the farm has been chemical-free for 3+ years, since we've only had it for 1.5 years.

If anything is needed, we use herbals or vinegar. (Vinegar is a wondrous thing!) I love learning about beneficial insects and about natural ways of dealing with problems. (Ladybugs are good. Rosemary by the front door helps to cut down on the pests. And it smells great!)

But how do we know that our spoiled rotten livestock is being raised to any kosher or halaal standards? I can't find anything telling me anything about how the animals are raised, only about how they are killed and how the meat is processed.

If anyone reading this knows of a guideline, please send it to me. I would love to have it.

Small Town Service

2005-06-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

I forgot on Tuesday to go buy the sign shop to look at the proof for our banner we need tomorrow. YIKES!

So I called a few minutes ago and spoke with Sarah. She said, "No problem. Come by this morning and look at the proof. I can have it ready for you by the afternoon. I can even bring it by the house and drop it off for you."

Can't get service like that in the city!

Thanks, Sarah!

Friday Busy-ness

2005-06-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

I thought that instead of falling back into the practice of not posting because life is busy, I'd attempt to make a really quick post this morning. Anyone who knows me is probably thinking, "Yeah, right. Cait? Make a *quick* post? Uh-huh. Sure."

OK, I said I'll TRY to make it a quick post. lol

Tomorrow is our first day at the Sunset Valley Farmers Market - IF I can get everything done today that needs to be done to make ready for tomorrow. I have to pick up the lamb from the butcher, have the pkgs weighed, pick up the trailer we're going to have the little chest freezer loaded on (picked that up yesterday evening), get together the change we need for the two farmers markets where we'll be, get to the health dept in Austin for the venders permit we need, and somewhere in the mix, drop off paperwork for another exchange student and convince the principal that he should sign off on enrolling this additional student.

I'm really nervous about getting everything done. If we can make a go of this, it will put us one step closer to Mike being able to go from working in Austin to working full-time on the farm. He would love that. It would truly make him happy. So there lies my goal - to get the farm paying for itself with enough left over to support the family.

Off to work. Time's a'wastin'.

ARIZONA/SONORA: Raising awareness on the Migrant Trail

2005-06-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

I just got this, forwarded from my husband to me. Let each of us consider the small things we do that are complicit in the problem and what small things we can do to make things better.

CPTnet
22 June 2005

ARIZONA/SONORA: Raising awareness on the Migrant Trail

by Genie Durland

Telesforo Santos Arroyo died in the Sonoran desert of southern Arizona at
the age of thirty eight, sometime in the summer of 2004. I know nothing more
about him, but I carried him with me as I walked seventy-five miles through
the wilderness that took his life. His name was painted on a small, white
wooden cross that I held as I walked. My husband, Bill, walked with me
carrying the name of Maria Florinda. From time to time, we --the
walkers--called out the names of our dead brothers and sisters and shouted
presente for them. Was it enough? Surely not. But it helped us to keep
their memory foremost in our hearts.

I could not share Telesforo's experience because I had strong companions,
adequate water and food, safe camping in a tent, and no reason to fear the
Border Patrol. But I experienced a powerful sense of community with my
fellow walkers. Strangers to each other on the first day, we nonetheless
bonded firmly around our grief and concern for the deaths in the desert.
Community was enhanced by our close-knit sharing of chores, pains, blisters,
tears, laughter, and music. But the community was made complete by the
presence of Telesforo and the others whose names we carried, as well as the
many desconocida (unidentified) and those who are never found.

I tried to imagine Telesforo as I walked. He may have been the Catholic son
of a devout mother, hence his name: Santos. Maybe he had a family, a wife
and children. Perhaps they were close to starving for lack of adequate
employment. Why else would he leave his home and loved ones to risk his life
in an inhospitable wilderness? Only desperation leads to such journeys.

My participation in this year's Migrant Trail Walk (from Sasabe, Mexico to
Tucson, Arizona over a period of seven days) does nothing for Telesforo and
the countless others who have died, are dying and will die on that perilous
path. Indeed four more died as we walked and we only heard about it later.
We never saw them; we never touched them. Our purpose was to mourn them,
because perhaps their families back home will never know what happened to
them. Our purpose was to see and feel what they face from a safe distance.
Our purpose was to mourn our own complicity with the global forces that
drive them from home and strip them of dignity. Our purpose was to try to
raise awareness--first in our own hearts, and then through outreach--in the
larger society, in our home communities, our churches, our schools. Perhaps,
if enough of us hear the message, perhaps then the policies of greed,
exploitation, and plunder that dehumanize workers everywhere (not just in
Mexico) will begin to change. That is our prayer, mine and Bill's, and that
of our compatriots on the Migrant Trail Walk 2005.

Bringing Peace to the World But Disharmony to One's Home

2005-06-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple weeks, I've been contemplating the topic "Bringing Peace to the World." This past week, Hugo has brought up the following topics on his blog:

Marriage and "Miracle Grow"
Family bragging, male body anxiety, and the questioning of masculine credentials
"Dare to disappoint" -- cheering on Sandra Loh
Dating to disappoint and the Bulworth solution

Now, I will admit to spending far too much time this week on these and a couple other discussions on Hugo's blog. But it does help me focus on and find ways to explain a few important things: what my marriage and family mean to me, what I feel my life should be, and how those two things integrate into what I feel God means for me to do with my time here on earth.

On the dating to disappoint thread, the discussion began with the topic inter-racial and inter-ethnic relationships, but it has also touched on the topic of whether a choice made is selfish or pushing people to be more accepting of others. There is the philosophy that one should carefully consider all one's choices and how they will affect one's family and [future] children. And then there is the philosophy of putting oneself forward and pushing for a better, more considerate world in which one's children may live.

Both of these philosophies have their good points. But each also has their dangers. With the first philosophy, you may choose to forego an option that would bring you great pleasure but has the possibility of bringing your family/children great pain, or conversely, you may choose the great pleasure and risk the possibility of causing great pain. With the second philosophy, you also run the risk of causing great pain to family/children, but often, it is without the immediate reward of pleasure.

It was in considering these two similar-but-different philosophies when two seemingly contradictory instructions from the Bible became a bit more clear. In various passages of the Bible, we are instructed to honour our mother and father and to love and cherish our spouses and children. Yet Jesus also tells us, in Matthew 10:34-39, that following him may set us at odds with our families and that if we love our families more than we love Jesus, we are not worthy of him. We are to love God above all else, to honour and love our families, to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and to follow Jesus. Yet, if we follow Jesus, we may be set at odds with our families and our neighbors. How do these reconcile?

In the past I've seen these instructions play out within our home. As children become teenagers, they often wish to be *different* than their parents. They sometimes struggle with whether or not they should follow the path followed by their parents. Many times, this includes questions and struggles about the validity of faith. Having several teenagers in the house, we're familiar with this struggle. During these times, our faith can set us at odds with our children.

But on occasion, we are called to make a decision that has an even greater possibility of setting us at odds with our families and our communities. Not only can these times put us at odds, but they can also have consequences that effect the rest of our lives and those of our families.

Recently, I picked up the May 2005 issue of Seventeen magazine while sitting in a doctor's office waiting room. I don't normally pick up Seventeen, but it seemed much more interesting to me than the various corporate business magazines that were available. As I was thumbing through the magazine, a picture of a young girl, about 13, and her mother caught my eye. There was an inset photo of a toddler sitting on her father's shoulders. It was for an article about this girl and her family.

When the computer industry crashed in 2001, this young girl's father was laid off. For the next couple of years, he did any part-time work he could find, but his part-time work accompanied with his wife's income wasn't enough to keep the family afloat, so the parents decided that he would take a job working for a year in Iraq, helping to rebuild. The daughter was angry with the decision, not wanting her father to leave for a year. Months later, the mother and daughter discovered that he would never return home. He was beheaded by terrorists.

Most people think that things like this happen "somewhere else." These things don't happen in our own back yard! But they do.

We are coming to a time when people are feeling a call to serve, to make choices that will be difficult for their families. One such call is right here in Texas.

The radical vigilante group, Minutemen Project, has moved a portion of their operation to our back door. They are bringing their hatred and fear to where we live. They attempt to mask this hatred and fear as "patriotism." This "patriotism" calls them to patrol sections of the Mexico-US border in search of illegal immigrants. The threat of violence raises its ugly head. How long before violence erupts?

The call now heard by some is to stand in the way of that violence, to speak out against vigilante-ism. For some, the call will be to go with CPT to those areas where violence may erupt, to put themselves physically in the way, to try to stop the violence. For many others, the call will be to give prayers and support from home, and to be here for our brothers and sisters when they return.

For the families of those called to go, things will be very difficult. Some of us have never been apart from our families. Some have worked very hard to bring our families together. All will need love and support as we go through this difficult time.

My greatest fear is that this is only the beginning.

Ribbons and Lace

2005-06-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I spent far too much time looking at antique and vintage laces, ribbons, and appliques. The 24yo is getting married in the spring, and I told her I would help with the preparations. I would love to give her a custom-designed veil with vintage lace, but she's still not told me what she wants. Last time I spoke with her, she wasn't even sure what she wanted.

As I began looking at things for weddings, I've come across many things that our 15yo daughter would love for when *she* gets married, so since I don't know what the 24yo wants, I just may start buying things to prepare for the 15yo's "hope chest," which my mother gave her for Christmas. She has spotted a few antique/vintage laces she really likes, and I found one site with lace Claddaghs that come with signed and dated certificates of authenticity. She really liked those.

I guess what I can do is make one for the 15yo, to her specifications, then send pictures of it to the 24yo with a request for *her* specifications. I've already told her that we can make the veil, do the flowers, etc. She can tell her friends she is having a custom-designed wedding, if that helps, because that *is* what she will be getting. The 15yo has even offered to design a wedding gown for me to make, but I don't think the 24yo is going for it, no matter how good a dress designer her little sister is.

Today, I get to try to keep myself from hyper-focusing on wedding things. There's hay to be purchased and put out for the sheep and bedroom renovations to be done. I've no time to get lost in wedding planning today, especially not when the bride still hasn't sent me the color samples and designs for the flowers.

On Being Who We're Meant To Be

2005-06-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

Like a lot of people, I have more things that need to be done than there are hours in the day. Sometimes I need to be more organized in order to get everything done. But many times, it's good to be spontaneous, just to follow God's lead.

Today is one of those days when I need to be a bit more organized. I've reports to type into the exchange student database, I've more host-parent reference calls to make and to type into the database, I've hay I need to purchase, and I need to get started renovating bedrooms.

I also need to sit down with our 15yo daughter and work on certain trust issues. Aren't there *always* "trust issues" to be worked on with teenagers? She's actually grown quite a bit in this area. This is just one of those "time to step it up a notch" issues.

So how to best prioritize the things I need to get done? As Patricia Sprinkle points out in Women Who Do Too Much, we're all different. Organizational techniques that work for someone else aren't necessarily the right ones for me, just as the priorities for someone else aren't necessarily the priorities I should have.

After following the prompting in the book to look at what *I* am supposed to do with *my* life, I've discerned 3 things: 1) work with teens, 2) work to provide healthy food for under-employed/under-privileged people, and 3) WRITE.

I'd always thought that writing was something I do for me, so it's been pushed aside because, donchaknow, things that are for yourself shouldn't come equal to or above things you do for others. But as I've gone through the promptings in this book, I've come to the realization that it is very important, for me and for others, that I write. I don't know why it's so important, but it is.

Perhaps the importance has to do with voicing a different perspective in discussions such as this and this on Hugo's blog. It is important, after all, that people hear varying perspectives on issues, so that we all know that there are many different sides to a story. It is also important that people see that God leads us all on different paths in life, rather than giving us "cookie cutter" lives. What works for one doesn't work for another.

I've also discovered that it's important for each of us to know that there are others out there with experiences similar to our own. Although we are all different, many experiences are very much the same. It helps us get through difficult times if there are others to whom we can look for inspiration, to say, "S/He made it through! So can I!"

So I will be more diligent about writing. I will schedule it into my day, somehow. And life will flow a bit better, perhaps, because I am working in time for this one thing that I'm supposed to do in the midst of my other two foci. Once I took the time to look at it, I realized that these three activities work well together. I'll write more on working with teens and on providing healthy, nutritious food to low-income families later.

Now it's time to get to some of that paperwork sitting on my desk.

Have a great day, everyone!

Math Bigotry?

2005-05-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

What do you call someone who says, "there is not enough content to justify wasting a whole year on geometry?" The only thing I can think to call them is "math bigots." I'm sure there's another term that would fit better, but I'm too irritated to think of one at the moment. This came up because I had emailed a homeschool co-op in which I'm considering enrolling my children for the next year. As I looked over the courses offered by the co-op, I decided that paying the $60.00 per course for the science courses was a great deal, as then I'd not have to gather all the lab materials needed to do an effective class for them myself. Both the 15 yr olds want to take biology AND chemistry, so that will be $240, but it will be a $240 well spent, IMO. Since there was no geometry course offered by the co-op, only Saxon pre-algebra, algebra I, and algebra II, I decided to email the co-op to see if there was any interest in adding a geometry course. The comment I quoted above is what I received in response from the director of the co-op. As a mathematician who prefers the beauty and logic of geometry over any other subject, the comment has me seeing absolutely red. What is the man thinking??? Is he one of those people who thinks that geometry is only shapes and measurements? Does he not see the relevance and beauty of learning to complete a geometric proof? Does he not see the application to the outside world of the critical thinking skills learned in developing the ability to write a well-thought-out proof? What is the man thinking???

The REAL Mother's Day

2005-05-09T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as a part of our church service, we read the declaration that began Mother's Day. The true beginnings have nothing at all to do with Hallmark, flowers, and a dinner out. Here is the declaration that started it all. Perhaps, with time, we can work toward the original purpose.

Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

"Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, "Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice." Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Musings on Mothers' Day

2005-05-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

As I sit here on the 15th Mothers' Day that I've been a mother, I feel both joy and sorrow. I look at my children and see how much they've grown.

Jamie, the 24 year old, is preparing for her wedding next year. She and I talked about the wedding the other day and decided that I'll work with her to get everything prepared and paid for, then we'll present the entire deal to Mike, already accomplished. That way, he doesn't have to worry about any of it.

Eric, at 17, is 6'2" and gaining confidence in himself. Where is the lost little boy I first came to know nearly 6 years ago? I still see glimpses of that confused spirit on occasion, but those glimpses are very rare these days. He is working full-time, is studying to sit for his graduation exam (I require an 85%, rather than the minimum 70% required by the company where I found the test), is realizing through experience the lessons Mike and I have been trying to teach him, and just went to his first "real" dance with a nice young lady who (according to a friend) has been wanting to go out with him for quite a while. They made a rather striking couple. I am awed by the work God has done in this young man. His growing maturity makes me feel better about letting him move out on his own, something that he's been wanting to do since he was 14.

Shannon, at 15 (and 8 months!), is growing into a wonderful and beautiful young lady. Of course, she'd have a caniption fit if she caught me calling her a "lady," but ready or not, that's what she's becoming. She is learning to be kind and caring, and to have empathy for others. She still thinks of herself as a social butterfly, but actually seems more confident in smaller groups. She's also beginning to work through her "issues" and to help her friends work through theirs. She has learned to be more vocal about what is bothering her instead of holding everything in. She does a wonderful job helping me when I'm working with exchange students and host families. She still has some challenges from time-to-time, but what teenager doesn't?

Kenneth, at 15 (and 1 month), looks like he may well meet the 6'6" mark my grandmother predicted on his 2nd birthday. He's a great kid, always willing to help others. He's starting to work through some of the issues that have been bothering him. I look forward to seeing his continued growth.

CD, at 18, is loving culinary academy. He started going there because he loves cooking. If he can stick with the program, he will turn out to be a great chef. His self-confidence seems to be rising with each day he attends.

Dima, 16, has grown so much since he came to stay with us in December. He went to last night's prom with another exchange student, a very sweet girl. They made a lovely pair. Today, for my mothers' day gift, he gave me the painting he did of 3 roses in full bloom, in a white vase. We are now coming up on the date for his return to Ukraine.

As all our children grow and mature, I feel a sense of pride in their growth and accomplishments. But I find myself also feeling very saddened. Before too many more years, they'll be gone. In 16 days, Dima will return home. In June, Kenneth will go to his father's for 8 weeks. Eric and Shannon won't be going to their mother's for a visit this year.

Their growing independence is welcome, but it is also something which I dread. They need me less and less. But at the same time, we are going more toward a relationship that is becoming more of a friendship and companionship. There are new depths and dimensions. In a life of perpetual change, these changes are proving more difficult for me to deal with than have most others. What's a mother to do?

But Be Ye Transformed...

2005-03-29T08:02:00.000-08:00

This morning, I received an inspirational email about transformation that cited Romans 12:2, as well as other verses. Romans 12:1-2 says, "I beseech you therefore, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

"Be not conformed to this world..."

How many times to we talk about being individuals, about having the "freedom" to do what we want? But if we're all honest, there are at least a few places where we easily, readily, without thinking, conform to the world around us. We want to express our individuality - by dressing and acting like the people around us, or like some pop icon, or like some popular media figure. Have you noticed that for all our individuality, most of us wear pretty much the same thing, maybe in different colors? We think the same thoughts. We hold similar things important.

But what is important TO GOD?

"Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..."

The renewal of minds. What does this mean?

Well, to me, it means that we're to start thinking on our own instead of blindly following the status quo. Continually question. Never be satisfied that we've arrived at the correct answer without verification. Always re-evaluate. Always study more. Be a student of God, learning to see the world and its inhabitants as He does.

And this leads me back to verse 1: "...present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

We are not only to renew our minds, but we are to present ourselves to God as a living sacrifice, "which is your reasonable service." We are not our own, we belong to God. We are here to do God's work, not the world's. We are to serve Him, only and always.

Further into the chapter, various ways of serving are listed: prophets, ministers, teachers, those who exhort, those who give, those who rule, those who show mercy. Each of us has more than one of these talents. Some days, we are teachers, some we are ministers. Sometimes we are lead to point out issues that need to be changed, some days we give to those who are in need. We are always to be open to God's prompting so that we know what we are supposed to do at a given time.

When we allow ourselves to be transformed by God's word and by His love, we come closer and closer to that which He wants us to be. It is a long, difficult road, but looking back, I can see the progress that has been made.

Do not be discouraged when you stumble. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and turn your focus back to God. Rest in His arms for a while, then continue down the path. He will be with you the entire way.

On Being a Responsible Person

2005-03-28T07:50:00.000-08:00

I've been involved in the Choice4Men discussion over on Hugo's blog. I *really* don't get these guys. From everything they've said, it seems they are trying to leave a HUGE door open for men to be irresponsible about sex and pregnancy. What ever happened to, "Step up to the plate. Be a MAN?"

To me, this reflects a greater epidemic in our society. There are far too many people who want to live life with no responsibility at all for any of the consequences of their actions. They talk as if it's an infringement upon their rights to expect them to act responsibly. What's up with that?

I grew up being taught that each person is responsible for any results of his/her actions. If you plant seeds and care for them, something grows. If you spend time with family, you have a close relationship. If you tease a dog, you'll probably get bitten. If you grab a bull by the horns, don't be surprised if he gores you and stomps you into the ground. If you eat too much, you gain weight. If you drive too fast, you increase your chances of having a wreck. If you treat people badly, noone will want to be around you.

And if you have sex, be prepared that a pregnancy might occur, no matter how many precautions you take. The only non-fail birth control is NO SEX.

So why is it that there are groups who want to absolve men of any responsibility if they have engaged in sex and a pregnancy occurs? It's really, really simple. If you don't want the responsibility, don't take the risk. What's so hard about that?

Except...

People want to have their fun, but not be responsible for any consequences brought about by their fun.

Go ahead. Drive fast around the curves. Feed the bears. Give the paramedics some work to do.

Passion Friday and Rebirth

2005-03-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week. Thankfully, I'm beginning to adjust to 3 antihistamines in my system at once, so I'm starting to get more things done.

Today is Passion Friday, better known as Good Friday. For me, it's a time of reflection and contemplation. Everywhere I turn, people are preparing for Easter Egg Hunts. There are baby animals arriving all around us. This is a time of rebirth, of renewal.

I think that is what Passion Friday and Easter Sunday mean to me, more than anything else. January 1st was a time for new beginnings. New beginnings are followed by a period of incubation and growth. Now it is time for that which has been incubating to be born. But what does that mean for me, personally?

The past three months have been a time of financial and health challenges. We began the year with my cutting back on my outside commitments, which meant a reduction in income. We've been adjusting to our new financial situation during a time of increased financial expenditures - taxes, insurance, health costs, etc. At the same time, I've been sick and sleeping a lot, falling behind on the things I need to get done. It's been a challenge.

Amidst all this change, I was given the position of AYUSA's Regional Director for Austin and the surrounding area. It's a part-time position, a great deal of which I can do from home, so I can monitor the children's progress while working. This seems to be a wonderful job for a homeschooling mom.

Now to the time of rebirth - commitment to God and family able to come forth and breath life fully.

This week, Mike and I had a time of turbulance that could be compared to the pains of birth. From that turbulance, our marital relationship has had a rebirth. We have drawn closer and understand each other better.

Also during this week, I have gone through my usual fears brought on by our financial burdens. I have always known to rely upon God for my financial needs, but I still need to give Him the fears. I know this, and I work toward this goal each day. I still am not sure how we are going to get all the bills paid that are due *this* week. Perhaps 3 of the 4 heifer calves are big enough to take to the sale next week. That would help.

I have received emails from two women who are interested in working with me. If I can be successful in developing the program in my area, that will put me one step closer to helping Mike into a position where he won't have to drive into Austin each day for work. It's great to have a job I love that has the potential of allowing me to help my husband get out of a job he dislikes.

That process would be a definite rebirth, a complete change of functionality in our lives. Perhaps God will allow us to have that role reversal this year, where Mike and I can both work from home, teach the kids, and be able to support ourselves and our community projects as needed.

Once upon a time, I would say this is all just dreaming. But I am learning to trust God with my dreams. God has the ability and the desire to bring my dreams to life, if I will only completely trust Him to do so. As a process of rebirth, I must learn to open my eyes, so that I may see the path by which God will bring forth my dreams and so much more that I have never dreamed of.

Today, Passion Friday, is a time to die to all the fears of the unknown, the fears of the things that will keep us from achieving that which God has planned for us.

Tomorrow is a day of reflection, a time to put to rest all those fears, a time to release ourselves from the purgatory fear brings to us on a daily basis.

Sunday is the time to rise once again, to be reborn in the power that comes from God, a time to go forth and do the work for which God has made us.

Love knows no fear. Let God's life fill you, bless you, and overflow from you to all those around you.

May God be with you always.

Terri Schiavo and Political Manipulation

2005-03-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

I had thought that surely there were depths that politicians wouldn't go to in their political manipulations. But I was wrong. This site includes this morning's Washington Post article about the political shinanigans played with Terri Schiavo's right to live or die:

Justice For Terri Schiavo

From the article:

'Voting 203 to 58 at 12:42 a.m., the House joined the Senate in approving the measure and rushing it to President Bush. He signed the bill into law at 1:11 a.m., saying, "I will continue to stand on the side of those defending life for all Americans, including those with disabilities." '

Now I'm wondering, if he defends life for ALL Americans, what is his definition of American? Perhaps those who are on death row have lost their citizenship?

'Texas Gov. George W. Bush defended his state’s legal system Wednesday as “fair and just” and said there was no need for a moratorium on executions. “As far as I’m concerned there has not been one innocent person executed since I’ve become governor,” Bush said. Since he took office 5 1/2 years ago, 134 inmates have been executed in Texas. Bush said he has analyzed each capital case that reaches his desk. -Source: Associated Press, N.Y. Times Jun 21, 2000 '

As I read through the article, I was amazed at the number of representatives who have jumped on the political bandwagon that has been made of Terri Schiavo. How dare they disrespect anyone in this manner?

What really bothers me, though, is the thought that there are many Americans who won't see through their game. They speak of guaranteeing Terri's right to life, yet they have been working to eliminate Medicaid and other assistance for our nation's elderly and children. What is it that makes Terri more important than thousands of elderly and children? Why, the media spectacle her parents have made of this, of course.

Terri's been in a vegetative state for 15 years. Articles I read quoted doctors as saying her already damaged brain has deteriorated even further in that time. This afternoon, I heard a recording played on the radio that Terri's parents say was her, moaning. The doctors said that any sounds Terri makes are involuntary.

But perhaps it was Terri trying to plead with her family to finally let her go. Perhaps.

I know that's what my wishes would be.

Clarification on My Personal Philosophy

2005-03-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently, there are some folks over on Hugo's blog who've decided that since I don't agree with them, I'm in what they perceive as "the enemy camp," that old Bush-ism, "If you're not for us, you're against us." Yes, I know, it was around long before Dubya, but it made good propaganda for him.

Here's a bit of clarification for the MRAs and others who haven't figured out what I'm sure most of the feminists who post on Hugo's blog have already determined - I'm NOT a feminist. Never have been, never will be.

Here's my personal philosophy:

1) Treat yourself and others with courtesy and respect. (As per Biblical instruction, love God above all others and love others as yourself.)

2) Treat things with care. (As per Biblical instruction, be good stewards.)

3) Priorities: God first, marriage second, children third, other family fourth, community fifth.

4) Work hard, as per #2.

5) Equal pay for equal work, as per #1.

6) War, the death penalty, and abortion break rule #1.

7) Do what you can to bring understanding and peace, as per #1: restorative justice, exchange programs, neighborhood gardens, non-military options for youth, etc.

I know that some of this most people can agree with, but a lot of people don't agree with a good portion. A little over two years ago, my husband and I found a group of people who do agree with us - the Anabaptists.

We joined the nearest Mennonite church in January 2003. For any who don't know anything about the Mennonites, here are a few links. Perhaps it will help you better understand where I'm coming from in the discussions.

http://www.mhsc.ca/index.asp?content=http://www.mhsc.ca/encyclopedia/contents/R48647.html

http://www.bluffton.edu/~mastg/And%20No%20One%20Shall%20Make%20Them%20Afraid.htm

Oh, and I also believe that wives should submit to their husbands, and that husbands should submit to their wives. I know. A whole 'nuther can of worms. But it's Biblical.